25 going on 25?

I hear people saying "I'm 25 going on 30." or "I'm 40 going on 50." or what have you, but rarely do I hear "I'm 25 going on 25."

What I mean by that statement is that I feel stagnant in my life right now. Maybe that's not entirely a bad thing, but it's making me restless. With my 25th birthday coming up this July I'm feeling some pressure to figure out what my next step is going to be. I've told myself that I am going to stick it out through the summer here in LA living with Jessie, and hopefully finding a job in Hollywood. If it gets to around the end of August and I'm still feeling restless, and not making any headway in my finance department, then I am going to reassess things. Maybe another move? NYC? Chicago? Run away to London with Meredith? Sure, why not?

Apparently you're supposed to have some stuff figured out by the time you turn 25. Or, at least that's what your parents, peers and society have to say. Why 25? What is the big deal that has made everyone's subconscious hyper-aware that when you creep towards 25 you're supposed to have some things settled, and your wreckless late teens and early twenties behavior should be well put away and done with. Is this the age where we are considered adults, finally? Is this the cut off for having unnecessary debt, help from parents in emergency situations, and the need to have two non-fulfilling jobs while still not making ends meet at the end of the month? Should we be better than we were at 24?

I'm not saying that I don't agree with what I said before. I think there's something to the age of 25 that does make you less of a child in their early twenties and you've now moved onto your mid-late twenties which inherently makes you an adult. (Though, I don't believe you're really an adult until you've had children.)

Going back to what I said in the beginning about 25 going on 25. This next year I feel is going to be one of major change. I said that about the year 2010 and so far I see some things happening. But, I feel a BIG change in the near future. I feel like my 25th year of life will be one that I will remember forever. And right now, I can't see past 25. Yes I know there will be many more years after that. But. That's where my focus is right now. That's where things are going to happen. And that's, hopefully, where I'll get some clarity on what the hell I'm supposed to be doing in this life.

Get ready 25. Here I come.

I wish I was a writer.

Sometimes I sit in front of this blog for hours just wondering what I can or should say. How do some people have that knack for writing and others don't? I want to write important things, or things that people actually want to read that they find interesting. I want to ask questions that make people think. I want to write about relatable issues. I want to write.

My views from my downtown loft.

Photography.

I miss taking photos. I miss the part of me that used to travel and see the beauty and mystery in the simplicity of life. What I wouldn't give to be able to buy a really great camera and take off for 6 months and travel and take photos of the world.

Change. Again.

Today is my last day at Raksa. It seems like the hours I'm getting at Barney's and they money I am making are going to be enough (for the time being) for me to make it each month. I will miss my Raksa family, but looking ahead to a fun, less stressful summer.

I'm selling my car. The Little Furv Monster is getting a new owner, hopefully this week. I shipped my moms car out here last week and will take over ownership of her until I find another car hopefully this fall. She'll make due til then.

I'm moving, again! As of May 1st I'll be residing in the beautiful home of Jessie Webster. Her roomie Poppy is moving out after living there for quite some time and I am the lucky person who gets to move in! Cannot wait to live with a girl again, have a full kitchen and actual space to live and create in.

Hopefully this June I will be able to go home, it's been way too long. My nephews are growing so much and I'm missing it! It will be so nice to be there, and for longer than a few days I hope.

That's all for now, I'll be posting again soon. Love.